Wonderings of an Aimless Mind

PS moved to their new building... Good or Bad?

*As far as I am concerned this is BAD... First of all it's so faaaar! Second, there's nowhere to go - you're stuck in that terrace that's masquerading as a smoking area. Third, we look like we're working in an assembly line (makes me remember Karl Marx and his alienation theory). Fourth, it's so cold, makes one think that the ops floor is just one big walk-in freezer. Fifth, SURF CONTROL - need I say more?

Living with my Dad... Good or Bad?

*Good and Bad... Good because I get to spend some "quality" time with him. Also, I now have the chance to test out my cooking skills (haven't heard any complaints yet). Bad because we get on each others nerves: stubborn + stubborn = one BIG fight!

Michelle's new job abroad... Good or Bad?

*Bad for me - no more "partner in crime" and confidante. Good for her - she finally fulfilled her dream of getting out of this f*****g country.

Biz picking up... Good or Bad?

*Definitely Good! Never mind the lost of sleep and lotsa constructive "bickering".

Price hike (imagine a jeepney ride from Philam to the MRT station at Ayala now costs P7.50!)... Good or Bad?

*WTF? I'd rather take a cab then... BAD!!!


to be continued, i'm so sleepy...

It would look like that the post I made last June 22 would be the last post I'm gonna make in PS. Why? They actually "surf-controlled" blogger...the nerve!!!

Wala lang, I'm just ranting... Kainis naman kasi eh!

...well, not really, hehehe!!!

Talked (more like argue) with my Dad over lunch earlier and until now I still can't understand why he just cant get my point... Is it so hard to not let other's opinions bother you? Why do we always have to consider what other people would say about stuff happening in your life, it's your life your dealing with anyways. And in my opinion, whatever happens to you (the good ones and the bad ones) only concerns you and you alone. 'Coz in the end nobody could help you but yourself.

I'd like to think that other people's opinion does not bother me nor does it makes me wanna live my life based on what they think is good or bad. Besides, everything is relative in this earth. The good for me may be bad for others and vice versa. So why live your life with somebody else's standard.

Back to my conversation with Dad... the reason why he can't leave me alone in our house is because if something bad happens to me - what would our relatives and friends think? This has been his line ever since we started this issue years ago and nothing could make him change his mind. So being the "good" daughter that I am I let him be and just finished my lunch. There's no use arguing with somebody who had already set their minds about certain stuff. Then I suddenly remembered that everybody has a right to their own beliefs. So if they choose to run their life according to their own set of beliefs and values its their right... I do not have the right to say that they are wrong and that I am right. Everything's relative, right?

You live your life and I'll live mine.

This is the business that I'm way proud of... So for your coordination needs, you may contact us.

To my biz partners namely, Lynn, Case, Ate Anna, Ate Celle, Katz, Amber and Raine (the newest member of the group)... lets keep it up!!!

I also wanna thank Wylmer (aka glyphed) for helping me with the literature needed when we were still starting and I'm panicking on what needs to be written there.

Summer is now officially over, here comes the rain... The rain and I had made so many memories together some could make me smile while others could make me cry. But right now, I just miss going around Baguio while it is raining and just watching other people hurry on their way to God knows where. I miss curling up in my room with a good book while the rain is pouring outside. I also miss, the times when we (me and friends) would just stop by a coffee shop to catch-up with each other's lives while waiting for the rain to stop.

I hope I could go back to Baguio again... Not now though. That place brings back too many memories that I don't wanna remember right now. Even though I only spent 6 years of my there, I learned many lessons.

Things I Learned while staying Baguio:

1. Be independent.
2. Be responsible for myself.
3. How to "budget" my money.
4. How to be a good judge of character.
5. How to be more outgoing - I actually became more spontaneous there.
6. Be more trusting of others.
7. Love with all your heart.
8. Do not blame unto others your boo-boos in life.
9. Friends keep you sane.
10. Walking could do wonders for your health and peace of mind.
11. Don't let other people's opinions affect your decisions - its your life anyway... So to hell with their opinions!!!
12. Enjoy your own company.
13. A good cry after a really bad day is a very good way to de-stress.
14. Sometimes all you need is a good book.
15. Remember to always play the "game" with pipz who know the rules.
16. Do not kiss-and-tell.
17. Promises are sometimes meant to be broken.
18. Jokes are half-meant.
19. Sometimes the truth really hurts.
20. There are things better left unsaid.
21. Learn to say NO.
22. Do not forget your manners.
23. Everything happens for a reason.
24. Keep your weaknesses to yourself.
25. Honesty is really the best policy.
26. Fastfood is not always the answer.
27. Always know where the "fire exits" are.
28. Pamper yourself.
29. The wonders of drinking booze.
30. A night light helps to keep the bad dreams away.
31. The 6 o'clock diet works.
32. Help is sometimes just a phone call or email away.
33. All you need is a Vitamin C tablet a day to keep the doctor away.
34. Doing a good deed really makes you feel good.
35. Antibiotics and alcohol do not compliment each other.
36. Your happiness is your own responsibility.
37. Time always seems so slow when you are doing nothing.
38. Nobody's perfect.
39. Mascara is a girl's bestfriend.
40. Coffee makes me sleepy.
41. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
42. Sometimes life really sucks.
43. Clocks/watches are invented for a reason.
44. The photocopier is a student's greatest ally.
45. You sometimes do things for no reason at all.
46. Good girls do not always finish last.
47. Do not underestimate the power of prayers.
48. It's always a good idea to wait for the hot water.
49. Taking the time to hit the save button is not a waste of time.
50. Change is the only permanent thing in this world.

I've been going on and on about this for the last month or so. But I still can't seem to get it out of my system. Now, I've decided to FINALLY write about this for the last time and hopefully never look back again. It was just so hard getting over the fact, that I lost the person that I have loved the most... I'm not gonna pretend that I'm cool with what happened 'coz I'm not. I thought, I could easily move on and forget about that relationship but I'm now finding out that it is not the case. There are times I'm okay but sometimes I'm not. It's like taking two steps forward and then taking a step backward to that very lonely place.

Why is it so damn hard to move on? Well, there are just too many things that remind me of him... But what can I expect, five years is a long time and there are just too many memories crowding my already crowded mind. There are also too many questions left unanswered and words left unspoken. I wish I had the strength then to finally ask and say to him what I really felt inside. Until now, I still can't find it in me to just get angry at him for doing this to me... to us. 'Coz at the back of my mind I know that he deserves to be happy and be able to find the love that he is really looking for. I also know that I am not the one for him, not the girl who could give him what he wanted in life. But why is it so hard to accept the fact that I am not the ONE for him? Maybe, because at one point in my life I believed with all my heart that he was the ONE for me.

People and friends tell me that all I need is time... for me to finally heal. Since I never mastered the virtue of being patient, I'm wishing that the time of healing will come to me sooner and not later. But in case I still have a long way to go... I'm hoping that along that journey, I'll at least stumble upon my "special place" where I could escape for a while and just be "happy" again.

To you... I wanted to thank you for (the last time):

...the time we spent together (02/24/00 - 05/08/05). From the moment I first saw you smiling at me to the last time I saw you waving goodbye. How I wish there is a way for me to freeze the times that we were together so I could "visit" them during my lowest moments.

...the lessons you have thought me. From the way you taught me how to love with all my heart and to never hold back to being honest even though you know you're gonna hurt somebody. I cried when I finally learned the lesson but they also made me realize that loving another person is what makes us all human.

I wish you happiness, success, and most especially, love throughout your journey. May you find the ONE you are looking for in this lifetime. May she love you always. Please take care of yourself... And even though I do not have the right to say this to you, remember that I am just here for you, silently loving you.

Do not worry though, I'm not hoping for you to love me again. I'm not even going to hold the "promises" you once said to me against you. I'm just sorry that things did not work out for us.

MY BLOG'S UNDER CONSTRUCTION...

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I had german measles... rubella as my medical certificate stated. Yuck, I thought only kids could get sick of measles. And since I was home alone at that time, I had no choice but to go to Capitol Med's Emergency Room alone. My only consolation at that time was the fact that the med tech who took my blood for the blood test was way cute... But please don't go to ER all alone, its soooo depressing. I almost cried 'coz I was the only one who does not have a companion then. Not only do I have to go home alone, but I was also going home to an empty house. It made me think of stuff again...

the STUFF:

Now I know the feeling of "being alone".
I do not like the feeling of "being alone".
Why am I still not over HIM?
How can I get over HIM?
Will I ever forget HIM?
I'm so sick and tired of always feeling sad over the break-up!
I should have just asked him the question...
I need to get a life!