I'd like to say a few words. Please listen for a while. It concerns the man I
love, the man who made me smile. He made me smile not long ago, but then that
was before. Since you came into his life, he did not love me anymore. At once I
felt the change in him and when I found out why, I realized the time has come
for me to say goodbye. He told my friends we'll stay bestfriends. And though I
agreed with what he said, I knew his bestfriend could never be me. I could not
bear just to be friends with him. Each day would tear me apart, each passing
minute that we'd talk would end up breaking my heart. But with him I tried to
hide the pain. Try though as I might, I can not stop the tears from falling as I
write. And if you ask me if I do love him still, I will answer "yes I do". But
it does not really matter now since it is not me that he loves but you. So to
you I bring this message, to take care of him for me. Guide him and cherish him
for all eternity. And do not tell him I wrote this, that I still love him so. Do
not tell him that my heart is aching. Please, I do not want him to know. Do me
one favor, love him tenderly. Please hold him and kiss him, one more time for
me.
(cutestuffforsomeone.net)
I was actually just looking through an old "journal" of mine and I accidentally stumbled upon this entry... along with lot's of stuff I'd rather not read at the moment. I really do not know why I wrote it down before but now I think I know why. I guess everything happens for a reason right? All the things you do in life have a reason for being... You don't do things just for the heck of it, even though you think you're just doing things for the heck of it at that moment.
There's so much going on around me right now and I can't cope up with them. So I'm trying my best to enjoy "the ride". But as I go through this "ride", I'm finding out things I really do not want to find, hearing words I do not want to hear and feeling the emotions I do not want to feel. It's definitely a one hell of a bumpy ride. Not that I wanna back out of this... I know that I kinda needed this to make me acknowledge the things I'm ignoring for such a long time now.
Oh yeah, thank you for finally making me realize that I do need to move on... To stop going to places I'm no longer welcome. It would take time for me to accept that I could never have you and that I would never realize "the dream" that I've been having, but that's my problem. I promise not to burden you with this "healing process" of mine.
So please, just turn your back now and never look back again... 'coz I don't want you to know how hard this is for me.