Wonderings of an Aimless Mind

I'm finally a regular employee of PeopleSupport... I guess it's time to celebrate right? Definitely! I'm going on leave this coming August 4, 2004 - syempre, gamitin na ang PTO ko noh! Anyways, it's for a good cause naman eh. I'll be attending the meeting of the KG's at Megamall. Excited po ako kasi, first time ko silang mami-meet. Hopefully all goes well kahit na medyo nagkaka-initan na sila dun sa egroups.

Oh well, I have to go na... Rest day ko pala dapat ngayon kasi meron akong training for tomorrow. I promise not to get hooked with Neopets so that I could try to update this blog.

Look at them...they're soooo cute! I'm currently addicted to these little critters. Eventhough they are still days old (as of the time being) I'm trying to find a way to earn more "neopoints" to keep them up-to-date with all the things they would need in their own little world. As usual, since I was never ever good at computer games, its definitely gonna take a while before I accumulate enough "neopoints" to keep them (and me) very happy!!!

"Low"
Sung By Kelly Clarkson
Lyrics By Jimmy Harry

Everybody's talkin'
But they don't say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don't want their sympathy
It's cool you didn't want me
Sometimes you can't go back
But why'd you have to go and make a mess like that?
Well I just have to say
Before I let go...

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
'Cause what you did was low

No I don't need your number
There's nothing left to say
Except I never thought it'd hurt this much to be saved
My friends are outside waiting
I've gotta go

Have you ever been low? (have you ever been)
Have you ever had a friend let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
'Cause what you did was low
What you did was low
What you did was low
What you did was low

I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscience
We both know that you can't say that
Here's to show
For all the time I loved you so
So...

Have you ever been low? (have you ever been)
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
'Cause what you did was low

Have you ever been low? (have you ever been)
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
'Cause what you did was low

Have you ever been low? (have you ever been)
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
'Cause what you did was low...



(So Much For) My Happy Ending
Avril Lavigne

So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

P.S. I'm really not in the mood to post anything as for the moment...Maybe this is because of the fact that I have been answering lots of email and I'm all worn out thinking of replies to satisfy them. Or maybe, these songs are just the ones playing on my mind and I really do not have anything sensible to talk about....

"Whenever I am with you, everything feels so easy... that it makes things so hard."

I definitely agree with this statement... If you're wondering, I just got this quote at an article in peyups.com. As soon as I read that statement, it struck me as something so true. It is so deceptive, because at first we think that whenever something comes easy it stays that way: easy. But then as we go along that path we find out that it really is not easy. Furthermore, you then discover that the things that you thought were easy are just things on the surface and it is not even something that means that much to the relationship. You were so confident that everything's fine but when you take a deeper look, you find out that you never did resolve the issues that would be the basis of the relationship. It is so misleading that it tricks you into feeling so comfortable and then BBBBOOOOMMMM, there goes your relationship! There burst your bubble. The bad thing about this is that once this happens, you could never go back again to that phony sense of relationship "nirvana".

It’s has been more than hour and we still do not have any internet connection – and in a job like ours that is equivalent to more than an hour of doing absolutely NOTHING! Since we do not have access to the net, we can’t even surf the net to check emails or even update my blog site (I’m just doing this using Microsoft Word ‘coz I’m so bored na talaga!). They say, there are still some calls that are filtering in and we just have to say that we are currently experiencing a “systems upgrade”. Oh yeah as if that would help! Some of my officemates are actually waiting for that kind of call ‘coz that could help them lower their AHT. Oh well, I’d rather not take any calls as for the moment – period!

Since I do not have anything to do, I did not even brought a book this time, I’ll just try to come up with a nice piece for my blog. Lately, I’ve been reading the sites of my friends from PS and they are really good. If ever I would have the courage to publish my profile on the web. I’ll definitely include their links so that other people could benefit from their writings. But as I’ve said before I never intended to make this blog accessible to the public, all I really want is a place where I could put some of my thoughts in writing so as to not have the burden of not being able to release these thoughts, may they be positive or negative. Basically, what I have in mind when I started this is just to develop it to be my personal online diary. By doing this journal online, I’m accepting the fact that some people may be able discover this. But that is beyond the point I’m trying to make, that is something I’m not able to control, in the field of psychology it’s called “external factor”. Okay, I’m getting lost again…This is exactly the reason why I never dreamt of becoming a writer. I never could write about one topic then focus on that topic alone. My mind always strays to some thoughts that I may have left unfinished before and is now making its presence felt. So maybe, if someone tries to take a look at my thoughts, they would find many “dead-ends” or “pathways” that seem to be leading nowhere but is in fact just thoughts that I may have not finished at the moment I started to think about them. Hmmm, does “that” thought even make any sense?

The system outage is over, it's now time to go back to work. Back to the endless anticipation of what kind of caller you're gonna get - would it be a good or bad call? I'm back to feeling a little nervous again... Now, which is much better? Doing nothing or waiting for something to happen?