Wonderings of an Aimless Mind
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Gloomy Thoughts, go away (please!!!).
I'm now at the point of my life (again!) where I am feeling a bit melodramatic. Actually I think I know the reason why I am currently feeling this way... yep it's that time of the month again. Girls out there would be able to relate with this kind of feeling, the feeling wherein you feel that you are at your most ugliest! It is also that feeling where you feel that you should have stayed home in bed to enable you to hide from other people and be "relatively safe" from outside forces (whatever they may be)!!!
A fact that I would never be able to hide from is the reality that I really need to loose some weight that I have managed to accumulate during my current work. When I started working the graveyard shift, I thought that I could finally loose some pounds because I would need to constantly adjust with the schedule. But no, no, no! Instead of loosing weight I kept on gaining weight and the only reason I could think of is that I am compensating for my lost of sleep with food (and lots of it!). So from this day forward, I vow to lessen my intake of food and to not sleep for one whole day while I am on my rest days. I need to at least pull-up, even just a little bit, my flagging self-esteem. I need to feel good about myself when I look at the mirror everyday. I owe that to myself, right?
I also need to stop feeling so paranoid about my boyfriend! I should have never listened to that taxi driver when he started telling me about my so-called "destiny". That person actually had the nerve to tell me that my current relationship is doomed to fail, sooner or later! Being the superstitious person that I am, I was immediately affected by that "revelation". To be honest, I was not able to sleep well that night even though I was so tired because of lack of sleep! Gosh, I even blurted that piece of tidbit to Arbern when I was able to talk to him after their operation. So you see, I was soooo affected by that "thing". I fervently hope and pray that he is totally mistaken 'coz I am so in love with Arbern (very true) and I am now seeing my future being spent with him at my side.
A fact that I would never be able to hide from is the reality that I really need to loose some weight that I have managed to accumulate during my current work. When I started working the graveyard shift, I thought that I could finally loose some pounds because I would need to constantly adjust with the schedule. But no, no, no! Instead of loosing weight I kept on gaining weight and the only reason I could think of is that I am compensating for my lost of sleep with food (and lots of it!). So from this day forward, I vow to lessen my intake of food and to not sleep for one whole day while I am on my rest days. I need to at least pull-up, even just a little bit, my flagging self-esteem. I need to feel good about myself when I look at the mirror everyday. I owe that to myself, right?
I also need to stop feeling so paranoid about my boyfriend! I should have never listened to that taxi driver when he started telling me about my so-called "destiny". That person actually had the nerve to tell me that my current relationship is doomed to fail, sooner or later! Being the superstitious person that I am, I was immediately affected by that "revelation". To be honest, I was not able to sleep well that night even though I was so tired because of lack of sleep! Gosh, I even blurted that piece of tidbit to Arbern when I was able to talk to him after their operation. So you see, I was soooo affected by that "thing". I fervently hope and pray that he is totally mistaken 'coz I am so in love with Arbern (very true) and I am now seeing my future being spent with him at my side.
lizzieloves, 4:34:00 AM
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a collection of random thoughts, gathered from past and present experiences...
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